Rejection: The Game Changer
by Lisa Jones
Rejection is a game changer in giving and receiving love. How we interrupt or perceive ourselves will determine the engagement we have with people. Ultimately, our self-perception will obstruct our view of the love of Jesus. The love of Jesus is the only lens we should view ourselves through.
The dictionary defines rejection as “an act of throwing away or discarding someone or something.” It implies a feeling of worthlessness and a lack of value.. Rejection is one of the enemy’s most effective strategies to prevent people from receiving and giving love. Scripture exhorts us to “love one another deeply because God is love.” It hinders us from experiencing the love of Jesus and from entering safe and loving relationships. Rejection also distorts our image of God’s love .The root of rejection is a person being denied love, thus, making it difficult for that person to give love. Rejection comes to kill, steal and destroy. Rejection takes, while love gives life and is both free and freeing.
The objective of rejection is to wound the heart. Rejection can become so severe that it may hinder deliverance by causing the mind to refuse to confront and deal with it. Some of the symptoms of rejection are:
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Low self-image |
Insecurity |
People-Pleasing |
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Self-condemnation |
Lovelessness |
Inability to Love Others/Spouse |
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Worthlessness |
Fear of Rejection |
Feelings of Depression |
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Inferiority |
Promiscuity |
Short-term Relationships |
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Starved for love |
Self-accusation |
Social Withdrawal |
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Unworthiness |
Always Feeling Like a Failure |
Trying to Earn Acceptance Through Good Behavior or Hard Work |
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Approval-seeking |
Questioning One’s Own Identity |
Internal Hurt/Pain/Agony |
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Abandonment |
Self- rejection |
For those who struggle with rejection, some of the symptoms may look like:
- A withdrawal personality and agony within.
When love is perceived to be distorted, we tend to isolate ourselves because loving others is too painful or because we do not love ourselves and we do not know how to connect and love others.
- Starved for love; feelings of worthlessness
Rejection causes us to starve and long for love. Because we are unable to connect with people, our longing drives them away.
- No lasting relationships.
Rejection makes it a challenge for us to trust others. When we don’t trust others, we will not have successful relationships.
- Earned acceptance by being good or hard-working. The enemy whispers in our ears that we must earn love. We, in turn, perform and do things in order to receive love. We assume that there a bigger agenda behind the person who is showing love. We feel unworthy to receive love, so we’ll rather perform and earn love.
- Display a façade- become whoever people want us to be. We become a chameleon, wearing masks and pretending.
So, what do we do with the symptoms of rejections? We must uproot rejection by finding the root cause.
There are many sources that can lead to the root of rejection. Listed below are a few:
- self-rejection
- emotional abandonment
- parental abandonment
- negative words spoken over the womb
- generational curses
In order to heal from rejection, we have to recognize the pain, acknowledge the pain, seek deliverance, renounce daily and take ownership for our part. We must also forgive and replace the lies with truth. All of this is done under the guidance and leading of the Holy Spirit. If this becomes too difficult, seek professional help.
The source of our healing is knowing that we are accepted in the beloved. We must be rooted in this truth. Isaiah 53:3 states that “Jesus was despised and rejected of men.” He took upon Himself our rejection so we could be delivered and healed . It is our responsibility as believers of Christ to walk in what Jesus bought for us: perfect love.
Reference #18 Healing Rejection www.healingofthespirit.org
Edited by Georgie-Ann Neil