Don’t Do it Alone

by Tanya Coles

In life, we experience many seasons of transition. Some of these transitions are rewarding, exciting and allow us to move into new environments, explore new territory, and they inspire us to follow our dreams and passions. However, there are seasons of transition that seem dark, uncomfortable, and causes us to feel alone, abandoned, and confused. During these times, it’s nice to have a support system to lean on, but oftentimes, as singles, we find ourselves going through these tough seasons alone.

We feel that no one wants to hear our problems. We believe that we are the only ones with issues. We feel we are a burden and an inconvenience. The whispers of the enemy cause us to withdraw to a place of isolation, believing we should deal with negative emotions on our own. We internalize these feelings, believing it is our fault that we feel the way we feel, therefore, we don’t deserve support.

God is communal. The Bible is filled with scriptures that speak to the importance of relationships: marriage, family, and friendship. In knowing this, we also know that God does not desire for us to walk through life alone.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 shows us how important relationships are. When going through seasons of loneliness and feeling isolated, closing off our lives to others is unhealthy and damaging to our soul and spirit. Verse 10 in the passage, says if one falls, the other will lift up his companion, but woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. When we struggle through challenges alone, we have no one to encourage and empower us. This allows the enemy to continue his mental assault against our thought life, making his lies sound more and more convincing because we are not countering them with God’s truth. When we build solid relationships with people who stand on God’s truth, they can lift us up, pray with us, bring us into remembrance of God’s promises and help us to silence the enemy’s lies.

Verse 12 of this passage says that, though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. We may be feeling weak and vulnerable from the pressures of life against us, but if no one knows our struggles, we can easily be deceived by our emotions. When we confide in those close to us, we find strength. We gain new insight by seeing our problems through the lens of God’s love and goodness and by abandoning our defeatist mentality.

We may not be married at this point in life, but it doesn’t mean we can’t have a community. We pray that God will send people who live by His Word and allow Holy Spirit to be their compass and guide. The voices we allow into our lives must speak the wisdom of God, not help us nurse and rehearse our hurts. We don’t have to do life alone. We don’t have to be married to have companionship. God will help us build our community.

Edited by Vanessa Hunter

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